Participate and Observe Emotions to Manage Stressors (POEMS) 

Aims & Objectives

The aim of this page was to share common human experiences and challenges that I often see in therapy. I also wanted to share common skills and strategies that my clients have benefits from.  These skills help them manage stress,  difficult feelings or thoughts and life's struggles.  I decided to share this psychological information and theory through creative means to support different learning styles.  

Emotions, Goals & Values

Everyone has a whole range of emotions. These are often labelled as 'good' or 'bad'. We strive for happiness but can sometimes reject other emotions deemed 'bad' these can lead us to feeling "weak", different to others or assumptions that our feelings are wrong. We can struggle to manage these emotions and want to hide our vulnerability to the world. 

What ever it is that you value sometimes emotions can influence your behaviour and thoughts, guiding you away from what is importance to you. This may help you avoid a particular feeling (e.g. anxiety) in the short term but in long term it may add to challenges, may reduce or narrow what opportunities are available to you.

However, by accepting and unhooking the influence of emotions and thoughts you can once again make mindful choices and behave according to what is important to you. At least more often than not! It is not always easy to apply new skills but over time it can help and you may start to see the benefits and long term gains.

This page was added to support different learning styles and share psychological information through creative means. It includes common experiences clients describe as well as insights to skills often taught in therapy sessions. This may be helpful or useful for people across the age ranges - to provoke discussions in school or with family member. This information is for others to use and share in the public domain if doing so please ensure to credit and cite ACCEPT Psychology. 

Acceptance  

We have these emotions for a reason. 
Denying our pain can multiply and amplify the feeling 
The pain will be there, but we can buffer
The fall to ease how we suffer. 
Learn to accept the feeling with kindness and compassion
lean into the hurts to not make it worse.
 
The thought in my mind tells me it is so,
it is such a bully, pushes and pulls me!
All I want is for these thoughts to disappear,
the more I fight the more I fear.
Learn to accept the thoughts with kindness and compassion
lean into the hurts to not make it worse. 

Fighting what we cannot change
Can lead to anxiety and outrage, instead 
Paradoxically and strange accepting 
And letting go can move you ahead.
Learn to accept reality with kindness and compassion 
lean into the hurts to not make it worse.

© ACCEPT Psychology 

What is a conversation?

   
A conversation also known as a chat
We have them every day even with those who may live far away.
Some use the phrase a “tête-à-tête”
You may also have them with your pet.
You do this with your friends when you meet them in the streets
And you do this with your family
One speaks, one listens and then the cycle repeats.
Is there anything more?

We can talk with more than others, not just our sisters and brothers.
Imagine you and your body are deep in conversation
It may only be for a short duration. 
But before you start to shout listen and hear me out
This is not a standard chat “hello and how do you do?”
Observing, hearing and an inside feeling,
Attend with kindness and curiosity, name and notice, 
then proceed and ask what does my body need. 
what one thing will help my healing, 
help me climb to goals and not lead down to the potholes.  

 
© ACCEPT Psychology 

I have this feeling

I have this feeling in my body and I don't know what to do
I'm told by teachers, adults and parents sometimes too
Not to let my feelings show
Not to make a fuss
Not to show a weakness 
Be brave and strong like us 
I'm confused by all these messages.

I have a feeling in my body and I don't know what to do 
I feel it in my muscles as they start to shiver
It travels up my chest, I feel a lump in my throat
I can't make a sound or a note
My lips begin to quiver
What am I going to do?

I have a feeling in my body and I don't know what to do
I'm reminded of the messages and how I'm told to act
I don't feel I have the know how and haven't got the knack
I try to squash it or fake it,
Am I on the right track?
This all feels like a mistake.

I have a feeling in my body and I don't know what to do 
All I want to do is cry 
I try to hold it in 
Or hide it deep within 
And shut it in a box
I feel heavy and full of rocks
The urge of tears stops,

I have a feeling in my body and I've been taught what to do 
The break or pause is only short
It is the brave thing to do
The feeling is trapped inside my body
with no path of escape
This way of being feels shoddy 
What am I going to do?

I have a feeling in my body and what I've been taught it a mistake
Now I have the answers
Showing feelings is important
And it can take away the ache
Feelings travel in your body 
And they need an escape.

I have a feeling in my body and what I've been taught is very grave
Now I have the answers 
Showing feelings is important
Being sad can be a wave
And crying can be brave
Allowing feelings in my body to finally escape. 

© ACCEPT Psychology 

 Time Machine

I don't need a time Machine, I have my mind
I can get an image or scene in my head
I can travel and wander without even a tread

It can go to the past out of the blue, 
But guide you to follow and pursue
Bringing up memories bad or good
It may catch you by surprise and not be understood
All it needs is a small link; a colour, smell or word.
It may seem absurd but it is true.
The word takes me to a memory gone which I focus on
When reminded of the positive I can feel glee,
I may even notice a smile and warm feeling in me.
When reminded of the negative I feel sorrow
I may even notice a frown or furrow.
The feeling may last until tomorrow.

© ACCEPT Psychology

Racing Thoughts

These thoughts in my head

which I continually dread,

Especially when alone in bed.

They can creep into my sleep

And all I can do is weep.

I feel ever so frail

When I'm trapped in this jail

Alone with no one to hale.


I'm told words wont hurt but they keep me alert.

They fly by like drones,

They may not be stones

But they hit deep into my bones.

They can feel heavy like bricks,

They may not be sticks

But they tease and play terrible tricks.

These thoughts can be mean

And sometimes obscene

Never a picturesque scene.


They have all the power, bully me and boss me

Fighting makes them the stronger

And devours my willpower.

Pushing them away only to rebound again

I'm caught in a battle fighting or fleeing

and yet they return to replay and repeat.

 

© ACCEPT Psychology



Grounding

When we are hurting, overwhelmed or in pain

The emotion ever rising

The thoughts swirling in our brain

Our body prising away

Will it ever end or just continually ascend?

Is there some magic trick to help me defend


At these times we need something to gently bring us back

We are not under attack

These are our emotions taking over

We need to keep our feet on the floor. To help the emotion pass over.

Physically your feet may be on the ground

but inside it may feel like you are whirling around

 

At these times we need something to gently bring us back

We are not under attack

These are our emotions taking over

We need to grow roots like a tree (not literally).

To help the emotion pass over.

A tree without its roots will blow away.

A tree with great strong roots can battle many storms.

It may sway but will not stray

 

At these times we need something to gently bring us back

We are not under attack

These are our emotions taking over

We need to have an anchor ready. To help the emotion pass over

A boat when stopped at sea may drift continually.

It needs an anchor to keep it steady.

 

Will it ever end or just continually ascend?

Is there some magic trick to help me defend?

 

When we are hurting, overwhelmed or in pain

The emotion ever rising

The thoughts swirling in our brain

Our body prising us away 

We can focus on the present and all five senses

Our touch, taste, sight, sound and smell

Helping us come back to the here and now again. 


© ACCEPT Psychology

What to do?

 

I must confess it can feel like a mess

Do I express or suppress?

Do I react or backtrack?

Do I listen to the urges of try to ward of any surges?

Do I stay in this state or try to motivate?

Do I wait or leave it up to fate?


What is the distress?

First describe, and then express

I feel sad and want to cry

Crying can be trying there is no denying

But denying can be supplying a never ending chain of lying

Which can be very unsatisfying

Instead seek a loved one out

And share what these feeling are all about.


What is the distress?

I feel anxious and want to flee

Fleeing can be freeing and needed for the time being

But sometimes facing fear may be chasing for its turn

Instead seek a loved one out

And share what these feelings are all about.


© ACCEPT Psychology

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